"Umm, Mandy? That seems a little excessive. Why were you so freaked out?"
Well, that's a little complicated. Ultimately, it's because a couple of years ago I didn't believe in spirit guides, being a channel or possessing intuitive abilities. I remember what I used to think, and didn't want others associating those kind of thoughts with me. (I mean, I still kind of cringe at the word "psychic". There's just SO much baggage with that word, which is interesting because no one I know fits the imagery of a stereotypical psychic.) So I took the trainings, participated in groups, provided readings for others and loved it, all while hiding myself -and my oracle cards, pendulums and crystals -from those who were most important to me.
Not smart, but hear me out - Spirituality is deeply personal and let's face it, lots of people aren't very understanding of those who hold beliefs different than there own. I've seen the posts on Facebook, I've heard the mocking of all things "woo". Telling people that I can read energy, that I believe in past lives, that I hear, see and sometimes just know things...it didn't feel safe. Which, in the past, was true. It wasn't safe to let people know you worked with energy and had connections to the spirit world. We were labeled witches, and we died because of the fear of who we were and what we could do. This isn't my first life doing this kind of work, and I've been put to death for it before. Our souls don't get over that kind of trauma easily, so it's no wonder so many of us are afraid to shine our light and do our work.
That being said, the calling, the inner knowing that this was something I had to share about myself was getting stronger every day. I had two choices - I could either face my fear and post on my terms, or somehow - some way - the universe was going to do it for me.
Ok, got it. So how did you get past that fear?
Honestly? I didn't, at least not completely. I'm still working on it, and I'll probably continue to work on it for awhile. When I posted, I think I made a little squeaking noise, hit post, and then immediately shut my laptop and went outside to try and forget about it. But prior to that, it started with baby steps. I'd mention things to my husband, started looking at crystals with my kids, told friends that I was learning Reiki. It was slow going, but it allowed me to build up the conversation. My husband and friends were supportive. They didn't always get it, but it's not like that's a requirement to care about me. I mean, half my friends hate being underwater but they still think it's cool that I'm an avid scuba diver.
Therapy was also huge - I went in for one thing and found out my therapist has a lot of the same beliefs and is a crazy strong energy worker (Thank you Universe! Ask and you shall receive). She's helped me to release a lot of the fear, change some old belief patterns and embrace who I am. I've also relied heavily on my mentor and a few really good friends. Last, but not least, I've had my spirit guides and guardian angels with me the entire way. They've been giving me some solid nudges lately to be more open and authentic - pressure that definitely lightened up after last week.
True that. Final question...how did people respond to the post?
Most didn't, which is fine by me. I found out that I do have a few friends who are interested in my work and want to know more. Nobody said anything negative, which I'm thankful for. But really, it doesn't matter. After all, the post was more for me than it was for them. I needed to shine my light. I needed to share. So I took the leap and clicked "post". If you're in a similar situation, I'm sending you all the love . It's a scary place to be in, but remember: you got this. Even when it feels like you don't, even when it feels scary or overwhelming. You got this.
Hi there - I'm Mandy. I've been told by tons of people I need to write - that part of my soul's purpose is to write. I didn't start out wanting to write a blog. But if you're here, it means that you're on a spiritual path. And you've probably heard that if you're supposed to do something, you'll get tons of signs, over and over again. I'm on about my 20th sign that I'm supposed to write, so here I am! Thanks for joining me.
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DISCLAIMER: Readings are provided to be used for your own spiritual growth and are not intended to take the place of advice from your mental health professional, your financial counselor, your doctor, attorney, or any other professional. Please know that readings are designed to help you learn more about yourself and any information received is for you to use in the way you see fit.
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